Dear friends,

Let us love one another, for love comes from God.

This day celebrates the most epic event to have ever taken place: the coming of God in the straw.

 And no, Christians do not believe that Jesus was literally born on December 25th, this is just the day we celebrate it.

 Merry Christmas to all.

I know not many read this blog, but if you happen to stop by I’d love to hear your response to this question:

How would Jesus live if He walked the earth today?

I think it’s absolutely hilarious how different God made men and women. Anyone who’s ever been in a serious relationship knows exactly what I’m talking about. It’s not limited to disputes, but I can’t count on both hands how many times a problem has come up where Ashley and I have been on two completely different pages. For me, the problem was the problem. For her, the problem was that she was upset about the problem. So when I went to fix it (the problem), I fix the wrong thing and then she feels like I don’t care. In my mind, I think, “Well, see my good intentions and just don’t feel that way.” But to her, feeling is how she navigates through the realm of relationships - so it’s not that easy.

It takes wisdom and sacrifice on both our parts. For one, she has to put up with this mistake of mine time and time again. I’ve got news for you ladies: it’s the most natural thing in the world for a guy to want to fix the problem. It’s very unnatural and weird for us to get our minds around the idea that the problem is emotional, or that you just want us to be sensitive and caring. And that’s where sacrifice comes in for the man: we have to listen. We have to understand.

I’ve come to the conclusion, however, that this is how God teaches us to love each other. He puts us in a situation where we have to sacrifice, put another person first, and serve. And to any lady who’s in a serious relationship and they aren’t getting this sacrificial love from their man: I’m sorry. And to any lady who’s man is struggling through this: please, give him some encouragement and hang in there. I think I speak for many of us when I say that we want to please you and make you happy, and we definitely want you to feel loved and secure. It’s just that in accomplishing this great endeavor we have to go against most of what we think we already know when it comes to loving.

The only thing I can think to compare this strange phenomenon to is that it’s like learning another language. Except in this case it’s learning it with no prior knowledge to its sounds, its emphatic pronunciation, or flow. It’s like learning the language without hearing any words. You have to learn new concepts that your old language didn’t account for. And the frustration is in comparing new words with words you already know and applying their meaning. It seems the same, but it’s off. Off on a different level. But you won’t see it until you’re banging your head up against the wall. Somehow the pain brings clarity, it brings maturity, it brings a willingness to do it all again.

Somehow loving is like having ego and selfishness ripped out without anesthetic. But it’s a beautiful surgery indeed.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

(Lamentations 3:22-24)

God’s grace is like the morning dew.

His compassions and mercies are new every morning.

It takes a steady hand to navigate adulterous waters…

…and the ship has wrecked.

I’ve been fighting temptation all night. I feel like I’ve been shot in the chest, and with each beat of my heart comes a new throb of agitation, and pain, and a reminder…

But I remember You: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9)

Lord, only you can save me from myself. Please, in your grace, give me strength.

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”

James 4:13-17

I confess that I have boasted in the last weeks about traveling Europe for a year or two with my fiancee (soon to be wife). I have talked extensively of ideas and dreams and plans. All of which was boasting.

Then God, through James, asked me the question:

What is your life?

It is a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

And it is true. I do not know what the next five minutes will bring. I do not know the next 30 seconds. In truth, my heart could fail me before I’m finished typing out this sentence.

Thank you God, that by your incomparable grace You are patient with me and sustain my feeble life.

If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and visit Europe.

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

-Jesus
Matthew 11:29-30

Jesus’ yoke is an interesting thing. It is light, and gentle, and easy. My yoke is heavy and hard and unforgiving. My yoke is difficult and guilt-ridden. My yoke is full of self-imposed burdens that have to do with appearance and possessions, and the status quo. But my yoke also has a haunting spiritual side to it: it sometimes has to do with “winning” my salvation and “earning” God’s love.

Of course, my yoke is torture. It is not meant to be carried. It is sin. I do not have to earn God’s love, I must trust in His unfailing love. I must yank away the veil Satan pulls over my eyes.

Jesus tells us that there’s two great commandments: to love God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matt 22-36-38)

If all of my actions, thoughts, and motives are grounded and rooted and under-girded by love (which is God), then I myself will stay connected to the true vine and grow more into the likeness of my Savior.

Instead of trying to do love doing good things, I will let good things spring forth from the rock of love. I will let all of Jesus’ characteristics be planted firmly into the soil of love in my heart, and over time they shall take root and spring forth and blossom, producing a crop.

The great thing is that love is already there because He first loved us (1 John 4:9).

If it’s not motivated by love, what is it? It’s nothing. It crumbles to ashes. It destroys the lover from the inside out.

What’s the one thing I can do to be more intentional in this area?

I think it’s simple. I’m going to start with family. I’m going to wake up, and intentionally love them more than I did today.

“I can never forget the experience I had in visiting a home where they kept all these old parents of sons and daughters who had just put them into an institution and forgotten them - maybe. I saw that in that home these old people had everything - good food, comfortable place, television, everything, but everyone was looking toward the door. And I did not see a single one with a smile on the face. I turned to Sister and I asked: ‘Why do these people, who have every comfort here, why are they all looking toward the door? Why are they not smiling?’”

I am so used to seeing the smiles on our people, even the dying ones smile. And Sister said: ‘This is the way it is nearly every day. They are expecting, they are hoping that a son or daughter will come to visit them. They are hurt because they are forgotten.’ And see, this neglect to love brings spiritual poverty. Maybe in our own family we have somebody who is feeling lonely, who is feeling sick, who is feeling worried. Are we there? Are we willing to give until it hurts in order to be with our families, or do we put our own interests first? These are the questions we must ask ourselves, especially as we begin this year of the family. We must remember that love begins at home and we must also remember that the future of humanity passes through the family.”

-Mother Teresa